The Day Grief Snuck Up on Me
I met an elderly couple this morning. Walking together, grinning at each other and it looked like they were supporting each other along their morning walk. And I just thought “oh men! that should have been me and Mak!”
Seeing this sweet couple made me remember the conversations Mak and I had about how we were going to grow old, grey and toothless together (don’t ask me why toothless).
We had such plans!! Some of them completely hair-brained but heyyy...who’s judging! We’d planned to share our bifocal spectacles and even our dentures - such brilliant money-saving schemes we had! We’d planned how we were going to absolutely spoil our grandbabies and how we’d be a complete menace to our kids as we did this. We’d mapped out evening strolls to keep our joints lubricated and looked forward to endless cups of nyummy masala tea - and ohhh how Mak loved his tea! Such plans we had for our sunset years!!
And I, for sure, looked forward to spending my latter years with this man who knew and loved me during my nimble 20s, who loved me in my 30s as I changed in motherhood, who cheered the loudest when I hit my 40s. I wanted him by my side into my 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s...however long! But alas it was not to be.
The loss of this dear, dear man is truly hard to fathom. I dearly miss you Naftal Makori, my love, my husband, my co-conspirator, partner in crime, my prayer partner, my best friend...life is not the same without you.
God help me. This.Is.Hard